As I look back on the blog posts, I pointed out where I was struggling with being congruent myself. I want to be all restorative values at once! I have high expectations, bordering towards perfection dysfunction and that beings with myself. I hold myself to the high standards and maybe even higher than I expect of others.
One of my closest and longest volunteers recently told one of my staff I was bad role model. This really bugged me. She was talking about staying at work long hours. The volunteer was advising my staff to not burn out. Somehow I had gotten my employee to give me 5 hours before she officially started and her first day was 11 hours long. (ok, I was laughing at this, my Dad would be so proud, I would have been a great Marine). It did bug me, but it prompted me to realize I needed to change my ways or change my leadership.
I decided to change my leadership. I told the staff to set limits on me, to tell me “no” when needed. I said “I sure as hell don’t manage my time, I can’t do yours either”. I told her to set her time appropriately and not work beyond the schedule. Yesterday she left at 3:30 came back to the office at 6, I was still there. She had worked on things at home. Looks like we would both make good Marines.
Why work so hard, for me, a second chance.
I was looking hard for work in 2005. I was a part-time probation aide, part-time circle keeper, I might have even had a 3rd job over that time as a mental health aide, as a mentor to a teen in foster care. I had been with SCVRJP as a board member, since the beginning. I have seen this organization from an “idea” to a full functioning non-profit. Just yesterday I got to marvel at a check for $40,000.00. That was a grant payment. One item from our April budget, that used to be the annual budget!
Back to me looking work in 2005. I was vice chair of SCVRJP, a meeting was held with the chair, vice chair and the sec/treasurer. Not enough engaged people, the job of secretary and treasurer were combined! So basically my taking the reins of the non-profit was discussed. I agreed to be the interim director, I was willing to TRY it for a few months.
This was my second chance. This was some career redemption for me. I had worked my way up in positions within corrections and human services. I vacated that quickly. Joining the world of the non-profits has suited me well.
I run the program with passion, energy and values. Its congruent with what restorative justice is all about. I promote respect, kindness, addressing harm. I see people holistically. I try to run my life the same, the best thing is like all the 2nd chances we help with, I am using my 2nd chance to make my career matter.