Work-Life balance, it’s a familiar mantra. Encouraging us to have equal joy, equal efforts, equal time. I believe in being congruent, being a person of value and principle, at home or work.
Another phrase we use: “All work and no play”. I think that is a statement used to justify play. I’m tainted, I was raised by a farmer. He worked or slept. He would get up through the night to check the cows when they were calving. The older I get the more I realize what an impact my fathers work ethic had on me, and how much I struggle to not be hurt, but to heal from my past.
I have a few people in my life that are comfortable enough around me to respond honestly. Someone recently told me something I shared was messed-up. I shared that the only reason I wasn’t at the office at 2:30 in the morning, was because I would have set off the building alarm. I explained that in a previously job, if I couldn’t sleep I would get up and go into work at 2:30 am. I would stay until co-workers began to show up. I would then, go home, shower, get ready and get my daughter off to school. I disclosed that when she was an early teen I left her alone, in the middle of the night. It was then, I was told, that was messed-up. I laughed, but it bugged me.
I want to be a “balanced” person. I want to be better than I was 6-8 years ago. I had to honestly look at myself, had I gone backwards in a negative behavior? I remember a new boss, telling me not to arrive before my first official work day. I wanted to come in early, set up my office, be ready to hit the ground running. He told me not to do that. He said people would get scared I would want them to work as hard as I was. That was 10 years ago and I didn’t think I worked harder than anyone, and part of me, honestly thought, shit they should be scared! I do want them to work that hard! I hope I’ve softened my management style! I know I’ve learned to try and balance my work ethic.
A recent inspiration in my email:
Work-life balance is a myth. Balance is achieved between two opposing forces. Work and life should be in unison, not opposition.
I appreciate the work of Simon Sinek. I liked this quote it reminded me to work towards my values.
So how does this fit with the blog title about justice and healing? Let me briefly explain . . .
Imagine an eye for an eye world. What comes around goes around. Is that justice? Our formal system is designed to achieve justice. What does that mean? The offender serves the prison term, pays the fine and restitution. The victim is compensated monetarily and given chance for an impact statement in court. Does justice bring healing? My area and speciality is “dealing with healing” (I tell people “dealing with healing” is the restorative justice bumper sticker).
I have to find alignment with my weaknesses (work-ethic/workaholic), balance is a good place to start. To align my values and live with who I am, that is alignment.
Justice can be served. How do we ‘serve’ healing. Can we align justice with healing? I think so, I try to do it everyday. Can we balance justice and healing?
Balance is the outer world (time, physical presence, how do I appear to others).
Alignment is internal (how am I with my values, my life, my perspectives and philosophy).
Justice is the outer world (replacing what was taken physically, focused on others, everyone gets the same time for the same crime).
Healing is internal (how I make the most of my past, how do to integrate experiences for the greater good).
Now think of them all together . . . . balance, alignment, justice and healing. We need the first 3 to get to the last one.